Are you wondering if you should talk about your past relationship on your first date? Would that be inappropriate? Talking about your ex on a first date can cause problems. So what should you do? To speak or not to speak?
If this is what you’re worried about, let’s talk about why you shouldn’t talk about your ex on the first date.
The first date is always a little confusing. You don’t know him, but you want to know him. Your significant other may or may not love you back. Keep decorating, show good manners, be grateful, bring your best to the table to please.
At worst, your first day can be the worst day if you or someone else needs to say or do something unexpected.
I am giving you a brief overview of my first day in my college days. I was so naive, I didn’t know what to say or how to present myself on my first date. Back in the 90s, there was no ‘internet world’ so I couldn’t find dating advice.
Coming from a stable family, asking my sibling for dating advice was a dream come true. Actually, I was alone.
Of course, my first day is not my best. When we all made mistakes and said things that showed we didn’t love each other right away.
We ended up wrapping up the first day quickly because it was getting late, and I was tired of listening to her end stories.
As I did not enjoy listening to his past relationship, your date may feel the same if you talk about your crying ending the story on the first date.
Of course, they probably won’t bother to meet or call you back.
Going on a first date creates an opportunity to learn something new about the other person. Their likes and dislikes, hobbies, future aspirations, favorite food, their family and so on.
The first date is the time when you can understand whether you are matching your vibe with your significant other or not. If you’re both acting as each other’s company, that’s your second date ticket.
Why should you not talk about your ex on the first date?
It’s hard to let go of your old relationship
If you have just gone through a breakup and are having a hard time letting go of your feelings, the feelings of your past relationship. It’s understandable. The change is really good. If you develop a new interest in someone, it may be easier to deal with your old relationship.
But, on the first date you instead of talking nice and showing interest to know about the other person. You insist on talking about your past relationship; are clear signs that you are not ready to move on.
Your rehashing of the past makes it clear that you are not putting your partner first.
You are making the other person feel unimportant and a waste of their time. The more you talk about your ex, the harder it is to move on. It can be hard to focus on what you have and who you are with.
If you know you’re not emotionally available, you’re probably not hanging out with anyone anytime soon. Or politely accept and deliberately try to get to know the other person.
You Will Give Someone The Wrong Idea
Let’s change what happened. You have a man on your first date and all you hear from him is how he met his ex, what he did, why he broke up and what he is doing.
Would that please you?
You went on a date thinking you would have a good time talking and getting to know the person. Instead, what do you get? It is clear that the other is not ready to give up his old life.
So, you came on the day with the wrong mindset. And it’s just a waste of time.
So, it makes sense because I should never talk about your past relationship on the first date. You may share old things but after a few days you will both feel comfortable.
Another very important reason I believe is that you cannot get to know the new person very well.
Ask yourself before dating, why do you want a relationship?
Getting to know and meeting a new person, with whom you can approach to build a relationship. Not every day is spent on a date. Some become close friends later.
When you see the other person trying to get to know you, don’t be disrespectful by bringing up your past relationship. They may want to know if you were in a relationship. But of course I don’t want to know your past history only on the first date.
I have written an article on ‘how to impress on the first date’ where I have talked about all the things that one should remember before moving on the first date and ruining it.
However, on the contrary, if you have a good relationship with your ex and complete a good record. You can mention them to a new person. Show them how much respect you have and can bring out the best in the relationship.
It’s different if the relationship doesn’t exist. There can be several reasons.
Make sure you don’t overdo it with ‘old topic of conversation’ as it may make your date dislike or jealous.
Don’t add any emotion or conversation to your first date. Talking small, nice and laughing with each other, that’s what the first date should be.